An Ordinary Disaster in 2024
Prepare yourself, create options—or just walk.
On the cusp of the new year I find myself feeling that I have less to say. I’ve never enjoyed arguing, and there are already so many voices fighting over crumbs, saying the same things, and congratulating each other for stating the obvious. The rhythm of what I have put out into the world ebbs and flows, as everything does, and sometimes less is more.
My biggest accomplishment in this past year has been to complete the manuscript for my book-length memoir, along with a new introduction.
The introduction also presented a bit of a problem in that even more than introducing the book that I did write, it promises the book that I would have written had I started again once I’d finished. Of course, many writers do end up editing and revising and rewriting until they’ve turned one book into another book, or something closer to the book that they really wanted. I’m not sure I have the energy for that, or that it would be the right thing for me. I was talking with a friend last night and she reminded me how works of art are tied to specific moments in time. I know this for myself in that our works—songs, books, paintings, that sweater you knitted—are artifacts, and those are what make art a fact. We could sit with that one sweater forever, knitting until almost complete and then undoing the work, starting again, refining, perfecting a continuous thread through time that’s never finished. That’s not what I want. I want to be done, and to move on. I don’t need it to be perfect.
Along with the memoir and several other pieces that I’m particularly proud of like Life as a goat, We need wild fathers, What to do when you don't know what to do, It's not really a "struggle" to find good male role models, I’m delighted to have had the opportunity to publish a couple of pieces on other publications: The Quake of ‘89 for
and an update of The Man Pays for . I’d love to do more of this in the coming year.I’m not really one for new year’s resolutions, but I certainly have learned the value of paying attention to messages. I’ve experienced a fair bit of depression in this last quarter of 2023, and as I’ve mentioned at other times, one of the things that I’ve learned about depressive down-cycles is that they are themselves signals from the unconscious of a need for change.
Although I’ve been a lifelong outdoorsperson and aficionado of many outdoor sports, I only began to really focus on fitness in my forties. At the end of that decade I was in the best shape of my life, running 10+ miles regularly and having dropped the excess ~20 pounds that I’d carried for so long. Still, I was really only running or doing anything else whenever I felt like it. Now as I near my 54th birthday I’m a little heavier again, running less, but much stronger and feeling the results of a full year of near-daily calisthenics. These days not only am I free on the lingering back pain that I’ve dealt with since I blew my L5-S1 disc twenty years ago I feel strong in new and positive way. I’ve recently added some kettlebells to my minimal home workout setup and have been enjoying working those into my routine. Check out Sean Vigue, Alex Crockford and Home Remedy Fitness for some great fitness resources.
Some days the only thing keeping me above water, so to speak, has been my fitness. I’ve actually gotten to the point that I sometimes find myself thinking about it as I go to bed, and looking forward to working out in the morning! My point here is that finally, at nearly 54, I’ve moved beyond “whenever,” and am hooked on daily exercise.
A key set of messages that I’ve been getting lately are that I need less computer time, more collaboration, more adventure—and even some more work.
To that end I use the free about:blank Safari extension to block several sites on my work computer: facebook, instagram, tiktok, and youtube as well as sfgate, cnn, nytimes, and hackernews, so that I don’t scroll or flip compulsively. When I find myself searching for something in there—in the computer, that is—I remind myself that there’s nothing in there for you, and to go find something else to do.
I don’t have any social media apps on my phone, and while about:blank offers an iOS app, there’s a fee for that and you can just use Content & Privacy Restrictions → Content Restrictions → Web Content → Limit Adult Websites → Never Allow to make a list of sites that I want to block myself from on the iPhone.
Sorry to say but these days Substack Notes seems more and more like just another social media platform, and therefore rather uninteresting for me. I do sometimes read Substack posts on my phone, but honestly I should probably just block it there too—in fact, I just did, because where and when would I be staring on the phone when I could be doing something better with my time?
The phone is still a handy device, but I’m also increasingly conscious that I don’t like the feeling of having it in my pocket at all, and so I’ve started to leave it behind whenever that occurs to me. Closely related is how
’s The War on Informality has really stuck with me, which has led me to rethink my use of Apple Pay and start carrying cash again.Community and connection is a big part of why I’m here, and I really enjoy doing interviews with other writers. A few particularly good ones are “We get good at what we do.” with
, “We all need our own philosophy” with , We'd all do well to "grow a spiritual pair" with , and The creative act is a form of dreaming with Michael Lipson, as well as my interviews with Charlie Engle, Kim Stanley Robinson, Chris Ryan, Kenyon Phillips, and Robert Ellis. I look forward to more of these conversations in the new year.I’ve also found that, as challenging as they can be sometimes, deadlines really work for getting me to produce—and writing groups can be a great way to give yourself more deadlines! I’m grateful to the guys that I’ve been meeting and writing with these past few months— Michael Mohr Joshua Doležal Lyle McKeany Latham Turner and Dee Rambeau—for their camaraderie and our work together on the subjects of fatherhood and “recovery.”
Look for another series from us soon, as well as another Bay Area Substack meetup like the first one that I co-hosted with
. I’m also planning some adventures for this coming year, starting with a week of sea kayak camping in the Sea of Cortez, some trekking trips, and hopefully some long distance sailing. I’ve also got something in the works on the work front—more on that soon.Thanks to all of you who stop by to read my work, support me with your subscriptions, and inspire me with your writing. Shout outs to everyone mentioned above, as well as ⭐️⭐️⭐️
⭐️⭐️⭐️If you believe my work has value and enjoy reading on a platform that doesn't attempt to hijack your attention with ads, please consider becoming a paying subscriber.
As we turn the corner into 2024 I find myself grateful, open, and excited for what’s new in the new year. I don’t know exactly what’s coming, and I often don’t even know what to do with myself on any particular day, but I do know that what I wrote for myself some months ago always holds true.
What should I do when I don’t know what to do? The answer remains: Prepare yourself, create options—or just walk.
See you ‘round the corner!
The turning of the year has also turned me away from the computer and phone. As a result, I ended my Substack newsletter. I have also unsubscribed from dozens of Substacks (some of whom I know read what you write)--and probably more to come. It was not because of anything that the writers said or did. In many cases, I felt sad to unsubscribe. I just need to be alone in my world right now and had to remove the temptation to escape. I wish you well in the coming year.
I was just reading in Rick Rubin's book, A Creative Act, exactly what you just wrote here Bowen. We need to release the work into the work, it's not useful or creative to keep working it over and over, or into something else altogether.
I am inspired by your actions, leaving your phone at home, getting off socials, and getting very fit. Thank you for sharing this, it's a great motivator heading into the new year.
Sending you good vibes in hopes your melancholy eases in the coming weeks❤
Also, I love both of these pictures!