I really like the point about the number of ways we’ve cooked up to lose. We all think we need to be exceptional, the .01% outcome, and sometimes it’s a really seditious act to just say, “I’m going to win by not pursuing that.”
Great thoughts and reflections. I’m so happy that you’ve found something comfortable and that works for you. You sound happier even through the words on the screen. And as Dee said, I’m with you on dropping the ego and only hanging with people who don’t need to prove themselves. Although for a long time I needed to prove myself.
Especially appreciate this point: "In America, we’re expected to craft a path entirely of our own making, with the assumption that not only is this the right and best way to achieve our own happiness and fulfillment, but also that of society as a whole.... It doesn’t always have to be about me."
I was thinking about this and couldn't find a way to work it into my essay, but the seemingly limitless possibilities for professional success in America can be paralyzing. What looks like freedom -- chart your own path -- can just be exhausting if you don't have a bright idea for that path. This is not to get into the invisible barriers that give the lie to the American Dream, but I think about the incredible stress associated with figuring out your next move as an American. It's a mixed blessing, because you wouldn't want to have your path chosen FOR you, the way it was for medieval peasants, but there is also freedom in a kind of communal definition of purpose, like you experienced with your friend's invitation. It's not up to you to figure it all out. There is a need, someone asked for your help, and you can give it. I think it used to be more like that.
Case in point: in my hometown, if you went to college, you were able to get a job, no questions asked, with the Forest Service. This was a government program designed to bring rural kids home for the summer, and it worked. Zero stress involved. When I tried to send some of my own students on a similar path, the whole game had changed. Now there was a database that you had to enter your information in, even if you had a personal contact at one of the national forests (as I did). Ostensibly, this was to be more inclusive, and I can understand resisting the old boy network. And yet it also seemed to needlessly complicate things. There weren't going to be impoverished urban kids applying to jobs in rural Montana. It seemed that a personal recommendation ought to open some doors, simplify things. I actually think this is how most business insiders still work -- on referrals, rather than cold applications or queries -- and it can be maddening if you're on the outside looking in. But why not leverage personal networks if you can? It's one way to avoid staring blankly at your future with no idea what you should be.
“As much as I’ve sought collaboration over the years, it’s been very, very rare to get past the point of ideation into anything like co-creation with another man, due to a potent combination of need, striving, ego, and envy.”
I resonate with this Bowen—so much. I find our collaboration so different thankfully. 🙏
This essay was full of raw gems. I really admire how you have conceptualized work for your life path and in the general sense that most work today is bullshit. The initial scene from your kidhood, full of juicy detail, really propelled the piece. I've had a little sticker on my desk that reads: "Fuck Work" since I was 16... so I felt a good connection here. But I'm so curious what your new job is!?
Welcome back Bowen! How wonderful to hear about this turn your life took and how much you're enjoying it. You are the perfect guy to write about work and money having explored it from every angle. I enjoyed your essay and look forward to reading the others in the series.
I really like the point about the number of ways we’ve cooked up to lose. We all think we need to be exceptional, the .01% outcome, and sometimes it’s a really seditious act to just say, “I’m going to win by not pursuing that.”
Great thoughts and reflections. I’m so happy that you’ve found something comfortable and that works for you. You sound happier even through the words on the screen. And as Dee said, I’m with you on dropping the ego and only hanging with people who don’t need to prove themselves. Although for a long time I needed to prove myself.
Especially appreciate this point: "In America, we’re expected to craft a path entirely of our own making, with the assumption that not only is this the right and best way to achieve our own happiness and fulfillment, but also that of society as a whole.... It doesn’t always have to be about me."
I was thinking about this and couldn't find a way to work it into my essay, but the seemingly limitless possibilities for professional success in America can be paralyzing. What looks like freedom -- chart your own path -- can just be exhausting if you don't have a bright idea for that path. This is not to get into the invisible barriers that give the lie to the American Dream, but I think about the incredible stress associated with figuring out your next move as an American. It's a mixed blessing, because you wouldn't want to have your path chosen FOR you, the way it was for medieval peasants, but there is also freedom in a kind of communal definition of purpose, like you experienced with your friend's invitation. It's not up to you to figure it all out. There is a need, someone asked for your help, and you can give it. I think it used to be more like that.
Case in point: in my hometown, if you went to college, you were able to get a job, no questions asked, with the Forest Service. This was a government program designed to bring rural kids home for the summer, and it worked. Zero stress involved. When I tried to send some of my own students on a similar path, the whole game had changed. Now there was a database that you had to enter your information in, even if you had a personal contact at one of the national forests (as I did). Ostensibly, this was to be more inclusive, and I can understand resisting the old boy network. And yet it also seemed to needlessly complicate things. There weren't going to be impoverished urban kids applying to jobs in rural Montana. It seemed that a personal recommendation ought to open some doors, simplify things. I actually think this is how most business insiders still work -- on referrals, rather than cold applications or queries -- and it can be maddening if you're on the outside looking in. But why not leverage personal networks if you can? It's one way to avoid staring blankly at your future with no idea what you should be.
“As much as I’ve sought collaboration over the years, it’s been very, very rare to get past the point of ideation into anything like co-creation with another man, due to a potent combination of need, striving, ego, and envy.”
I resonate with this Bowen—so much. I find our collaboration so different thankfully. 🙏
Thanks for the quality writing and effort.
This essay was full of raw gems. I really admire how you have conceptualized work for your life path and in the general sense that most work today is bullshit. The initial scene from your kidhood, full of juicy detail, really propelled the piece. I've had a little sticker on my desk that reads: "Fuck Work" since I was 16... so I felt a good connection here. But I'm so curious what your new job is!?
Welcome back Bowen! How wonderful to hear about this turn your life took and how much you're enjoying it. You are the perfect guy to write about work and money having explored it from every angle. I enjoyed your essay and look forward to reading the others in the series.
Nailed the nuance around work, money and the soul of man. Work, but for who and at what inner cost?