Change can seem entirely impossible—and, it can be normal, and easy.
Good points about how change doesn't have to be hard. A lot is context dependent. I hear this refrain frequently from former academics who felt like they were grinding, grinding, and making less progress than others. Then when they found a role better suited to them in industry, they accomplished more with less effort. The hard part there was embracing risk.
I sometimes wonder about people who develop self-fulfilling prophecies of rejection and thus consign themselves to nothing but change. Learning how to stay put is another skill, and not one that the American myth teaches very well! Scott Russell Sanders is perhaps the best champion of rootedness -- Wendell Berry, too. Terry Tempest Williams. And many others.
Interesting that you worked with a Freudian initially (without knowing!). Looking back, can you decipher where the Freudian approach was brought in? I'm very curious :)
Bowen, I love this whole essay, thank you! THE SKILL OF CHANGE/GROWTH IS WORTH ACQUIRING! This is so good I had to put it in shouty words. The introspection required to break down your ability and willingness to shift is incredible and it's great that you are sharing this. Your insight around truth telling in groups is big and it's hard to grasp if you've never been there.