I bet. Head in the ass is just too fucking common, right?
That is the perennial question isn't it... hard to say man, but given the extent to which certain few & sparse words that others _have_ said to me over the years have lodged themselves permanently in my brain, I'd say that I'd prefer the opportunity to consider what someone might have to say vs. not hearing it at all.
I know lots of folks tend to avoid 'advice' because it can be fraught, and that's for a good reason. Advice is often pretty weak magic, but sharing with me something of your own experience that comes to mind, prompted by whatever you hear from me isn't advice, it's just relating, and I always welcome that.
—e.g. "I'm thinking of quitting grad school to get engaged with an ex," and that brings up some actual past experience for yours that you share with me, vs telling me what or what not to do. I'm sure you know what I mean, but it look me a long time to learn this distinction, and IME many people still revert to advice b/c that's what they know how to do.
Prior to the events of this chapter, I tried to tell someone that maybe getting married to their fiancé wasn't the best idea. It totally blew up in my face. There's a whole Seinfeld episode about this - The Dog.
Been there, or someplace similar. If someone HAD suggested you reconsider, do you think you'd have heard them?
I just realized that went out with a few internal comments in square brackets. fixed now! +updated the title.
And -- I’d love to hear your story!
I bet. Head in the ass is just too fucking common, right?
That is the perennial question isn't it... hard to say man, but given the extent to which certain few & sparse words that others _have_ said to me over the years have lodged themselves permanently in my brain, I'd say that I'd prefer the opportunity to consider what someone might have to say vs. not hearing it at all.
I know lots of folks tend to avoid 'advice' because it can be fraught, and that's for a good reason. Advice is often pretty weak magic, but sharing with me something of your own experience that comes to mind, prompted by whatever you hear from me isn't advice, it's just relating, and I always welcome that.
—e.g. "I'm thinking of quitting grad school to get engaged with an ex," and that brings up some actual past experience for yours that you share with me, vs telling me what or what not to do. I'm sure you know what I mean, but it look me a long time to learn this distinction, and IME many people still revert to advice b/c that's what they know how to do.
I have found
Prior to the events of this chapter, I tried to tell someone that maybe getting married to their fiancé wasn't the best idea. It totally blew up in my face. There's a whole Seinfeld episode about this - The Dog.
I take it that someone wasn't me... Or did I just forget the whole conversation?
Yes, someone else of course. The implication that I stuck my nose in once before and had it bitten off, so I didn’t want to do it again.